How not to play a role - share your stories

[ThePiachu]

Sometimes you see baldies playing a role and getting overwhelmed. That's fine and sometimes funny in retrospect. However, sometimes you see someone play a role so badly you want to vent. So here's your opportunity - share your interesting stories of people playing their roles really badly.

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I was recently playing as cargo tech. Coming back to the role after learning how command / SO would be interacting with the department from the other side. Round started off pretty well - RO did some short pep talk about no BCs for PFCs and attachment limits, then proceeded to toss webbing, APs, etc. behind us while the two of us were handling the lines.

Eventually, one of out CTs "got lost" by flying down on Alamo on Prison Station. Somehow he left LZ1 FOB and presumably went on a merry adventure. Great, we're down to me and RO.

By this time, for some reason, we had an HPR and a set of ammo sitting on one of our shelves for some reason. I can hear an SO send a request - "Need scout ammo". The RO is silent, continues to mill about. We send some supplies down on Alamo. SO repeats himself - "NEED SCOUT AMMO, my scout is dry!". No response from RO. Then he decides - "you know what? We have like 200 points, I'm going to order more HPRs". So he orders one, and then has problems finding its ammo that somehow spawned beneath the crate. The HPR gets stashed onto another shelf. More SO screaming over the channels. RO orders two more HPRs, but can afford only one.

Somewhere around now the RO is probably taken in by the police and probably receives a stern talking to. The specialist comes down and asks for his ammo - "sorry, RO ordered three HPRs and we have no points left", I reply, "Your RO is shit", he retorts, "I know", I agree. The RO comes back to requisitions a changed man - "We don't give attachments to MPs, and we don't serve anyone. Close the lines!". I nod silently in agreement, then as soon as he's done with the rant I exit stage left and book it for CIC to tell the command about what's going on in REQ. Luckily I run into the commander that decides to take things into his own hands.

The round is ending, Alamo has been hijacked. I'm prepping my pulse rifle as I see the SO stop by - "Where is my scout ammo?!" I look at the console, with the order for 4th HPR still hanging in there, and our point count 2 away from being able to afford the ammo. I send a crate down, order the ammo, and start sending it up. "Crash imminent!" Alamo crashes into the ship. I check on the elevator and see RO's stamps just sitting there. I guess he quit for good. Luckily, the elevator is still moving up, and we get our ammo.

In the end I lose an arm to a xeno, get dragged into the nest half-conscious while I curse the RO with my dying breath as I pass out. The whole ship explodes, a fitting end to this story of an RO with a fetish for High Power Rifles...

[Bulaven]

Well. I -Do- recall a lovely Charlie Medic who, while I am attempting, in vain, to protect a barricade in the central Nexus, is quite literally just -Staring- at a Marine who is bleeding profusely on the ground. Corporal Baldie then proceeds to walk -Out- of the FOB, leaving a competent, overworked Bravo to care for the growing heap of wounded.

Not really sure what happened to our Baldie after that.

[Light]

Sometimes you see baldies playing a role and getting overwhelmed. That's fine and sometimes funny in retrospect. However, sometimes you see someone play a role so badly you want to vent. So here's your opportunity - share your interesting stories of people playing their roles really badly.

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I was recently playing as cargo tech. Coming back to the role after learning how command / SO would be interacting with the department from the other side. Round started off pretty well - RO did some short pep talk about no BCs for PFCs and attachment limits, then proceeded to toss webbing, APs, etc. behind us while the two of us were handling the lines.

Eventually, one of out CTs "got lost" by flying down on Alamo on Prison Station. Somehow he left LZ1 FOB and presumably went on a merry adventure. Great, we're down to me and RO.

By this time, for some reason, we had an HPR and a set of ammo sitting on one of our shelves for some reason. I can hear an SO send a request - "Need scout ammo". The RO is silent, continues to mill about. We send some supplies down on Alamo. SO repeats himself - "NEED SCOUT AMMO, my scout is dry!". No response from RO. Then he decides - "you know what? We have like 200 points, I'm going to order more HPRs". So he orders one, and then has problems finding its ammo that somehow spawned beneath the crate. The HPR gets stashed onto another shelf. More SO screaming over the channels. RO orders two more HPRs, but can afford only one.

Somewhere around now the RO is probably taken in by the police and probably receives a stern talking to. The specialist comes down and asks for his ammo - "sorry, RO ordered three HPRs and we have no points left", I reply, "Your RO is shit", he retorts, "I know", I agree. The RO comes back to requisitions a changed man - "We don't give attachments to MPs, and we don't serve anyone. Close the lines!". I nod silently in agreement, then as soon as he's done with the rant I exit stage left and book it for CIC to tell the command about what's going on in REQ. Luckily I run into the commander that decides to take things into his own hands.

The round is ending, Alamo has been hijacked. I'm prepping my pulse rifle as I see the SO stop by - "Where is my scout ammo?!" I look at the console, with the order for 4th HPR still hanging in there, and our point count 2 away from being able to afford the ammo. I send a crate down, order the ammo, and start sending it up. "Crash imminent!" Alamo crashes into the ship. I check on the elevator and see RO's stamps just sitting there. I guess he quit for good. Luckily, the elevator is still moving up, and we get our ammo.

In the end I lose an arm to a xeno, get dragged into the nest half-conscious while I curse the RO with my dying breath as I pass out. The whole ship explodes, a fitting end to this story of an RO with a fetish for High Power Rifles...

One of the roles you cannot ever think to take as a new Member of the server is... Squad Leader and PO, those one are the most critical ones which most of the Round depends on (Yeah RO is Important but without a Proper Pilot and a SL dropping a beacon... You're going to die horribly due no metal or worse).

I kinda remind one time which the XO was constantly writing pretty bad, took more care of the FOB Squad than the ones that we're supposed to push and such, at the End the FOB runned out of Ammo and the Queen locked the Dropship (At least it was like a ton of time ago, the same time we had the AP on the Marine Vendors) which ended with most of the Marines complaining about him on the radio channel like "YOU DOOMED US ALL!" "FUCK YOU XO" and the Admins sent a UPP Commando to kill the XO, later all the UPP team died by aliens since UPP seemed really shitty with Fighting aliens, SD never got activated and we died horribly.

[Light]

Well. I -Do- recall a lovely Charlie Medic who, while I am attempting, in vain, to protect a barricade in the central Nexus, is quite literally just -Staring- at a Marine who is bleeding profusely on the ground. Corporal Baldie then proceeds to walk -Out- of the FOB, leaving a competent, overworked Bravo to care for the growing heap of wounded.

Not really sure what happened to our Baldie after that.

He got near a Vent and the Shadow of a warrior took him, that's what i would wished if I was that Bravo Marine.

[Heckenshutze]

How not to play PFC:

1) Act like a coward

2) Think too much

3) Believe your life matters

4) Aim to the head

5) Not clearing weeds

6) Not pointing out hostiles

7) No dragging wounded


Story:

Be PFC, Delta ordered to flank with alpha in LV-625 throu the west jungle, we encounter the xenos, we push them a little, flank is going good, suddenly, 2 marines drop due to some neuro spit and some FF, alpha (as usual) chickens out and abandon us, Delta started to retreat, Alpha FF'd us all shooting behind their backs while running like cowards.. FROM 4 XENOS.

[zoboomafoo]

I've had medics before that don't know how to take armor off to defib. Also the medics that OD your corpse so hard you can't be defibbed.

I really hate bald medics, fortunately they are few and far between most of the time.

[Meatshield]

This is a hall of fame. Every single marine mentioned in these stories are heroes. Particularly that XO charging out the dropship to show the grubs how it's done. The RO mentioned by the OP was amazing too. Up there with the guys that cant resist temptation and try and assassinate the XO i n breifing.

[Build_R_]

My personal favourite is the classic engineer that (a) sets up sandbags facing the wrong way around, (b) does not make a tank-friendly FOB and (c) creates incredibly small spaces in their FOB.

[Pogo92]

I'm always impressed by the quality of fortifications we get on the ground--They're oblivious to enfilade/defilade, angles of fire, kill zones, movement, and ergonomics. Then I have to suffer the mockery of a runner 4 tiles away behind cover spinning in a circle, impervious to gunfire due to bullet pathing. Damn you runner.... Damn you!

[Loco52]

Dont shoot your fkng RPG behind friendly lines.

[Bulaven]

Dont shoot your fkng RPG behind friendly lines.

I was the SADAR, once. Someone tried to disarm me as an annoyance. Ended up making me fire an HE round at a nearby Marine's chest.

Moral of the story? When the SADAR is screaming for you to move, while you are shoving into him, while he is trying to fire at the 'Praetorian' behind you? Get the Hell out of the way, and put 'RunningLikeABitch.exe' on hold for just a few moments.

[Bulaven]

I'm always impressed by the quality of fortifications we get on the ground--They're oblivious to enfilade/defilade, angles of fire, kill zones, movement, and ergonomics. Then I have to suffer the mockery of a runner 4 tiles away behind cover spinning in a circle, impervious to gunfire due to bullet pathing. Damn you runner.... Damn you!

Or, grenades bouncing back at you when you throw them, due to a deviously placed barricade.

[ThatKazakhDude]

Today was my first time as a doctor, i fixed guy's broken skull, only to then open his skull again in order to fix the brain damage

[ghost120]

Today was my first time as a doctor, i fixed guy's broken skull, only to then open his skull again in order to fix the brain damage

Use alkysine for fixing brain damage next time.

[Exodus]

My first or second time as a Doctor, I had started to get a hang of all the different surgical procedures. That said, I still had to double-check the wiki every few minutes to ensure that I was doing it all right, because I'm a perfectionist, and I didn't want to be one of those "Bald Doctors Who Kill You."

I... didn't know that you could do multiple surgical procedures at a time. So, when a marine came in with IB, broken bones in their chest, and organ damage, I did every procedure individually. I cauterized them at the end of IB, opened them up again to do bones, cauterized, opened up for Organs.

They had several fractures and wounds.

I probably took like twenty-five minutes treating a five minute case before they made mention in LOOC that I could do multiple procedures at a time.

I'm sorry, Marine.

[Pogo92]

My first or second time as a Doctor, I had started to get a hang of all the different surgical procedures. That said, I still had to double-check the wiki every few minutes to ensure that I was doing it all right, because I'm a perfectionist, and I didn't want to be one of those "Bald Doctors Who Kill You."

I... didn't know that you could do multiple surgical procedures at a time. So, when a marine came in with IB, broken bones in their chest, and organ damage, I did every procedure individually. I cauterized them at the end of IB, opened them up again to do bones, cauterized, opened up for Organs.

They had several fractures and wounds.

I probably took like twenty-five minutes treating a five minute case before they made mention in LOOC that I could do multiple procedures at a time.

I'm sorry, Marine.

Hahah, just chalk it up to your character being a psychopath. Problem solved!

[VoltageHero]

Amusingly, I was one of (I believe there was still another pilot) for the Alamo during the round OP talked about.

Something that got left out (since OP probably couldn't have known about it), was that this same RO also decided to try and board the Alamo during a really crucial time, for literally no reason other than they wanted to go down with the supplies and offload them. We had to spend a considerable amount of time letting the XO know, and had to keep calling the MPs over to arrest them, due to the RO not being allowed to go planetside. The result was the RO arguing with the MP that eventually showed up, and had to get tossed off.

As well, I've always seen some rather amusing officers ranks who decide they want to come planetside. I think one of the most amusing issues that arose were two tankers who had no idea how to leave LZ1 on LV. The two tankers couldn't figure out how to get past the fences, and ended up coming back to the ship a few times only to head back down and get stuck again. Eventually, the XO ended up having to come down and walk them through the method of getting out. It wasn't that big of a deal, but the fact that the tank basically sat doing nothing the whole round was...bad.

[FearTheBlackout]

Never a day goes by that I don't silently pray that people don't try to play CMP like me.

[Bulaven]

Never a day goes by that I don't silently pray that people don't try to play CMP like me.

That a good thing or a bad thing?

[FearTheBlackout]

That a good thing or a bad thing?

It's a "I'm not nearly experienced enough to have my example followed please God don't do it" thing.

[Bulaven]

It's a "I'm not nearly experienced enough to have my example followed please God don't do it" thing.

Oh! Yeah.. I get you..

[Bulaven]

There -Was- one time that I witnessed the entire Requisitions Office make cardborg "Armor" and tell the Commander that they were no longer human, having advanced themselves to the point of post-human with their cardboard-bending technology. They even told the Commander to deploy them, stating that they would turn the tide of the battle in lieu of the failures of their Marine brethren.

I, a Staff Officer, was questioning the Requisitions Ensign as to why he was wasting time and resources, warning him that the Commander might take negative action. I was promptly rebuked by the "Leader" of the "Cardborgs from Cargonia Prime" or such nonsense for considering them to be under the control of the USCM.

What started as mild lunacy became a full-blown movement of gross incompetence and crippling resource waste.

Was a bit depressing, to be honest.

[ThePiachu]

Heh, that's when you call in the MPs and tell them to put a boot to "robots", medium style, for improper uniform.

[Build_R_]

One time I was playing as a MP and a marine (I think) had broken in and stolen a nade box from req. That's cool, no big problem just order some more. However the XO who was acting rather bald at the time decided that we should execute them for it. The CMP intervened and told the XO that that wouldn't be happening but I can imagine that if one of the baldie CMPs had been playing then we would have had a marine executed for messing with a grenade box.

[Royal Griffon]

There -Was- one time that I witnessed the entire Requisitions Office make cardborg "Armor" and tell the Commander that they were no longer human, having advanced themselves to the point of post-human with their cardboard-bending technology. They even told the Commander to deploy them, stating that they would turn the tide of the battle in lieu of the failures of their Marine brethren.

I, a Staff Officer, was questioning the Requisitions Ensign as to why he was wasting time and resources, warning him that the Commander might take negative action. I was promptly rebuked by the "Leader" of the "Cardborgs from Cargonia Prime" or such nonsense for considering them to be under the control of the USCM.

What started as mild lunacy became a full-blown movement of gross incompetence and crippling resource waste.

Was a bit depressing, to be honest.

Ha I was an MP during that time, we arrested so many that we ran out of cells and started to put some in for mutiny, for example the CMO as well, and the RO.