Human Centipede 3 - How did I find myself here?

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TastyCrabLegs
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Human Centipede 3 - How did I find myself here?

Post by TastyCrabLegs » 05 Jul 2018, 12:40

So I made the choice to avoid Human Centipede 1 and 2, but for some ungodly reason I decided to watch number 3.....

Let me be clear, This is not an endorsement.


So lets get to the meat of it, I don't know why the hell I did this to myself, and I don't recommend you do it to yourself either.


There are a few things Everything stuck out and just didn't make sense.
  • Why are all of the main characters D list actors ?
  • Why are there a bunch of A list background actors?
  • Why the hell is it 2 hours long?
  • Why did they make three?
  • Just Why?


At this point I figured hey, it's the third one right? It has to be at least B or C movie good.

F That's the grade this gets and that is way to generous. I kept waiting for the joke, I could see the actors having moments where they are visibly struggling to keep their shit together, But the nudge and laugh never came.


I have no idea why there was an old Austrian man yelling in a very fake German sounding Texan acccent. *I don't mean he yelled once, This fucking guy yelled for two hours*

I dont know why his accountant was a short penguin man with a hitler mustache.


Then the Director shows up half way in and it gets worse.

Of course it gets worse.


In the end you are left with confusion, Murder, The human caterpillar, and a heavy sense that you are slightly more retarded than when this started.

Also dirty, very very dirty.


Someone tell me i'm not the only one who saw this, but at the same time tell me you didn't do this to yourself.

The only part that has some humor is the constant referencing back to the first two movies to the point of holding both DVD cases up and screaming "WHAT ARE THESE!".
There are parts I would like to post about but it's honestly so messed up I can feel God trying to Bwoink me for a Bannu.

Stay away, Stay very far away. But do check out Look Who's Back German: Er ist wieder da
Because after that you will find Hitler Hilarious.
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