Vy'drach Mar'cte - The Pup Who Killed a Phoenix

Locked
User avatar
MarpleJones
Registered user
Posts: 3
Joined: 24 Jul 2018, 12:47
Location: Germany
Byond: MarpleJones
Steam: Marple Mazowsky

Vy'drach Mar'cte - The Pup Who Killed a Phoenix

Post by MarpleJones » 01 Sep 2018, 08:53

Byond ID:
MarpleJones

Marine Name (so we know who you are; if you play alien mostly, state that here):
I have a couple of characters for different roles, but the one I'm most comfortable with is <<Goodspeed "Warrior" Hice>>. I also enjoy playing as an alien and do so most of the time.

Name of the character you want whitelisted (The name your predator will use. This must match your in-game predator name):
Vy'drach Mar'cte

Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor?
Yes, and I will try my best to respectfully follow it.

Character background (An ADEQUATE description and story of your predators background):
The annual tradition of testing pups had come again - a hunt to find worthy prey in the most barren regions of their homeworld. They were all equipped with the most basic weaponry, armor, and proviant one could barely survive with in the ruthless wilderness. None of the young Yautja were allowed to form groups, help fellow brethren out, or return without a trophy; a hunt designed to be most challenging for a single individual. An amateur who barely dared to step into the darkness was the last to leave, forced by its overseers and clan members. The pup had barely any recollection of its previous hunting lessons, nonethemore any experience in survival. Beyond the gates, it stepped into the dense forestry. Its mandibles would not go shut, the eyes would turn at every single rustling sound of trees being blown by the wind, and its hand would be tucked tight to its ornamental blade. With every step the hunter made, its fear grew in size, and its own size seemingly diminished compared to the large outside world.

Not long after he left, the horn was blown, and the first of its clan had already finished their task and were praised for their achievement. The pup fell in panic, it ran as fast as it could through the forest without tracking its own path; enraged at its own lack of accomplishment. It dashed through ravines and narrow pathways, ignoring the wounds the spiky foliage and sharp twigs had dealt, until it finally tripped and fell into despair. It had still not slain a single being, and the thought of coming back was one it couldn't dare to consider. As time passed, and the shrilling sound of the horn repeated, it just sat there forlorn, waiting for the time something to show up and end his existence. But the silence wasn't interrupted by a beast, but rather a cry for help.

It hesitated at first, but as the calls grew more and more desperate, it rushed to the source. It reached a clearing, on which two young blood Yautja hunters fighting for their lives against a gigantic insect-like appearance. "Th'syra! What is a Vy'drach doing here?! They don't inhabit these areas, we have to flee, this is too much for us!" - one of the hunters yelled at its friend. The monster had a fierce appearance, its wings glowed in putrid orange and its fangs released hot, searing liquid. The hunters didn't stand a chance, they had already suffered burning wounds and were barely standing upfront with their spears, poking into the air as it buzzed above. The young pup was scared for its life, it had already prepared itself to turn around and run. Yet, the sight of leaving brethren behind wasn't right in his eyes, and a sudden thrill to kill had come over him. As the two hunters were fighting, and almost at the brink of death, the pup ran as fast as he could and struck the thing, leaving its sword stuck at its back. As it flew high up, it had lost most of its blood, and eventually, it fell to the ground.

The young hunters were indebted with the pup, they had given their greatest condolences and were thankful for it to have saved their lives. As the pup returned with not only a trophy, but two wounded Yautjan, the clan was shocked. Despite the fact that the event had already ended a cycle ago, the leaders approved its hunt and traditionally gave it the name "Vy'drach Mar'cte" - The Phoenix Slayer.

How do you intend to play your predator (as in, describe HOW you will act/play your predator)?
My character would not be played as a hardboiled hunter, but rather a predator who is driven by his own lust for "the thrill of the hunt". He would fear those who would appear stronger than him at first, but then be moved by the thought of killing a dignified prey and returning victorious, even if it meant his life. He can't watch injustice, those who are in times of need would receive his help if their own strength would not suffice, and he wouldn't back down a strong opponent if it meant to save a fellow friend. However, he does not trust non-predator races and sees them as "animals on a natural food chain" which sometimes are just as worthy to be slain - yet his curiosity would still allow him to be sociable with the smarter kind. Someone who would attack Vy'drach would make him deem this as a challenge, fighting back; but those who don't seem worthy would just be ignored. He would enjoy hunting in a pact where teamwork to kill a prey is key, but the time he spent alone in the woods would also allow him to hunt alone without much of a thought. However, those who steal his kills would be frowned upon. He would follow his Elders ruling without batting an eye, as he sees their orders as absolute. If he were to be in a life-or-death situation, he would try to leave with an honorable death.

Why should we whitelist you?
I've been enjoying Colonial Marines for a long while now - the thought of bolstered Marines fighting the threat which would eradicate all of the human race is something I greatly love. I've always wanted to try playing as a predator, and the goal of making the round more enjoyable and in-depth for everyone by playing a whitelisted character is something I want to achieve. I've got a strong sense for the controls in-game, and roleplaying games were something I've been playing since eons. I've also followed most of the Alien movies, and I'll try to revolve my time as a predator around that, learning more as I play.

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason (we will check, and lies may result in immediate denial)?
No, I always try to be most cooperative when it comes to roleplay problems.

Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why?
No, I haven't been banned on any other server.

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor?
Yes, I do, and I believe that everyone should be punished equally if they do wrong.
Squad Medic Experience.
Image

User avatar
Brotemis
Registered user
Posts: 97
Joined: 09 Mar 2018, 12:55
Byond: Brotemis

Re: Vy'drach Mar'cte - The Pup Who Killed a Phoenix

Post by Brotemis » 04 Sep 2018, 10:48

-1. I could go into detail about everything, but everything about this app is lackluster.

Story is short and doesn't say anything, playstyle doesn't mean anything. There's a lot more but that's off the too of my head. I have literally no idea who you are.
Commander Giovanni "Gianni" Romano
Pilot of the Flaming Flamingo
Just a Delta trying to find that pineapple pizza MRE

User avatar
MarpleJones
Registered user
Posts: 3
Joined: 24 Jul 2018, 12:47
Location: Germany
Byond: MarpleJones
Steam: Marple Mazowsky

Re: Vy'drach Mar'cte - The Pup Who Killed a Phoenix

Post by MarpleJones » 04 Sep 2018, 12:45

Brotemis wrote:
04 Sep 2018, 10:48
-1. I could go into detail about everything, but everything about this app is lackluster.

Story is short and doesn't say anything, playstyle doesn't mean anything. There's a lot more but that's off the too of my head. I have literally no idea who you are.
Thanks for the answer!
I've never written a post, nor an application on any forum before. I've tried my best to keep everything as expected from one.

Could I know what exactly you do not understand about the story/what the problem with the playstyle is? Or, if anything, I would appreciate the smallest amount of tips on how I could improve.
Yes, I'm a complete stranger who has written this application firsthand during his stay here on the CM-Forums. I'm intending to change that in the near future in a positive matter, and I understand your viewpoint about "hav[ing] literally no idea who [I} am". Yet, I still intend to pass this (or future) form(s) through, and for that, feedback would be something I'd be highly grateful for.

Thank you, again, for taking your time commenting.
Squad Medic Experience.
Image

User avatar
ThesoldierLLJK
Registered user
Posts: 1082
Joined: 29 May 2018, 15:08
Location: Florida
Byond: ThesoldierLLJK
Steam: thesoldier20

Re: Vy'drach Mar'cte - The Pup Who Killed a Phoenix

Post by ThesoldierLLJK » 04 Sep 2018, 12:50

Your story is not bad, but it's not great either. Your application feels kind of meh but because of your lack of forum activity and you not being known except for when you were getting ahelped for the name Godspeed, I think you're going to have trouble getting support for a generic app.

I'm neutral, but I would suggest getting some forum activity and maybe going for the CO whitelist first before jumping straight to Predator.

User avatar
MarpleJones
Registered user
Posts: 3
Joined: 24 Jul 2018, 12:47
Location: Germany
Byond: MarpleJones
Steam: Marple Mazowsky

Re: Vy'drach Mar'cte - The Pup Who Killed a Phoenix

Post by MarpleJones » 04 Sep 2018, 13:01

ThesoldierLLJK wrote:
04 Sep 2018, 12:50
Your story is not bad, but it's not great either. Your application feels kind of meh but because of your lack of forum activity and you not being known except for when you were getting ahelped for the name Godspeed, I think you're going to have trouble getting support for a generic app.

I'm neutral, but I would suggest getting some forum activity and maybe going for the CO whitelist first before jumping straight to Predator.
I'll certainly try my best to involve myself more here on the forums, thanks!
I'm personally not a commanding type, so CO seemed like a bad place for me to go, but I'll consider the "possibility" when I'll see myself able to.
Squad Medic Experience.
Image

User avatar
Symbiosis
Registered user
Posts: 673
Joined: 17 Apr 2017, 12:13
Byond: Symbiosis

Re: Vy'drach Mar'cte - The Pup Who Killed a Phoenix

Post by Symbiosis » 14 Sep 2018, 13:52

The story is a bit lackluster. The main thing I’d tell you to consider in the future is that not all of Yautja culture is focused on the Hunt. Envision it as the elite of the elite - they also spend time training before the Blooding Hunt, so they wouldn’t even make it that far without at least some faith of potential success.

-1
Cliff "Chubs" Campbell

"Hey, did anyone bring any food with them?”

Thwei Kv’var - Blood Hunter

User avatar
spartanbobby
Registered user
Posts: 274
Joined: 20 Jun 2015, 20:58
Location: Scotland
Byond: spartanbobby

Re: Vy'drach Mar'cte - The Pup Who Killed a Phoenix

Post by spartanbobby » 14 Sep 2018, 17:41

Symbiosis wrote:
14 Sep 2018, 13:52
The story is a bit lackluster. The main thing I’d tell you to consider in the future is that not all of Yautja culture is focused on the Hunt. Envision it as the elite of the elite - they also spend time training before the Blooding Hunt, so they wouldn’t even make it that far without at least some faith of potential success.

-1
I'll echo Sym on this one

Your forum activity is... non-existent I can't speak for your in-game activity because you mainly play xeno
-1
!!! John 'Spartan' Murry Hulij thar'n !!! Pred Council Man

User avatar
NescauComToddy
Posts: 598
Joined: 18 Nov 2016, 19:00
Location: Sao Paulo
Byond: NescauComToddy

Re: Vy'drach Mar'cte - The Pup Who Killed a Phoenix

Post by NescauComToddy » 18 Sep 2018, 16:18

Your background is not bad, but your activity and form in which you intend to play leaves something to be desired. Unfortunately, these aspects draw the flavor of your character's story, which could also have been more descriptive of the predator itself.

I recommend that you strive a little to have more in-game and forum activity before trying to be whitelisted in one of three roles. Still, I wish you good luck. -1
Peter.

Man'sur, The Victorious', Cetanu's Al'nagara.

Retired staff (moderator).

User avatar
Imperator_Titan
Registered user
Posts: 884
Joined: 05 Oct 2016, 13:14
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Byond: Imperator_Titan

Re: Vy'drach Mar'cte - The Pup Who Killed a Phoenix

Post by Imperator_Titan » 29 Sep 2018, 07:35

-1

Weak application, weak ingame activity as I've never seen you around as a marine.

User avatar
Emeraldblood
Registered user
Posts: 1671
Joined: 19 Aug 2016, 21:04
Location: USA, Florida
Byond: Emerald Blood

Re: Vy'drach Mar'cte - The Pup Who Killed a Phoenix

Post by Emeraldblood » 29 Sep 2018, 14:10

Resolved - Denied; work to improve on your app and be more involved with the community over the next few months.
Ban Appeal Users: If I've lifted your perma ban and you're still unable to log onto the server, send me a forum PM regarding it and I'll work to get it fixed in ~24 hours.

Emerald Blood: CM's mommy and the only head staff who does anything. Even though I hate you all sometimes, I still love you.

Locked