Colonial Marines Save Christmas

[Edgelord]

I wrote this last year and I figured this would be the best place to re-upload it. Enjoy or don't

A VERY COLONIAL CHRISTMAS

Every Marine Up On the Sulaco Liked Christmas a lot...
But the Queen, Who lived just north of LV-624, Did NOT!
The Queen hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be she was queen three games in a row.
It could be, perhaps, that her plasma was low.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that her hive was two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, her plasma or hive,
She stood there on Christmas Eve, hating those still alive
Staring down from her cave with a sour, Queenly frown,
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For she knew every Marine down in LV-624 beneath,
Was busy now, hanging a Forward Operating wreath.
"And they're planting their tripmines!" she snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then she growled, with her Queen fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"
For Tomorrow, she knew, all the Marine girls and boys,
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing she hated! The NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Marines, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST!
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would feast on USCM Ration (pork), and rare USCM Ration (beast).
Which was something the Queen couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN They'd do something she liked least of all!
Every Marine down in LV-624, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with loud midis ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Marines would start OORAHing!
They'd OORAH! And they'd OORAH! And they'd OORAH!
OORAH! OORAH! OORAH!
And the more the Queen thought of this Marine Christmas OORAHing,
The more the Queen thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for fifty-three games I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?"
Then she got an idea! An awful idea!
THE QUEEN GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Queen laughed in her throat.
And she made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And she chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Queenly trick!"
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"
"All I need is a reindeer..." The Queen looked around.
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Queen? No! The Queen simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
So she called her spawn, Hivelord(81). Then she took some red thread,
And she tied a big horn on the top of its head.
Then She loaded some bags switched movement to run,
On a ramshackle sleigh And she hitched up old Hivelord(81).
Then the Queen said, "Giddap!" And the sleigh started down,
Toward the base where the Marines Lay SSD in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Marines were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.
When she came to the first little house on the square.
"This is stop number one," the old Queeny Claus hissed,
And she climbed to the roof, empty bags in her fist.
Then she slid down the chimney. A fit rather mean.
But, if Santa could do it, then so could the Queen.
She got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then she stuck her head out of the fireplace flue.
Where the little Marine webbings all hung in a row.
"These webbings," she grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Then she slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and she took every present!
M41As! And Incinerators! Shotguns! Flares!
Magnums! Service pistols! Grenades! And snares!
And she stuffed them in bags. Then the Queen, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then she slunk to the icebox. She took the Marines' feast!
She took the USCM Ration (pork)! She took the USCM Ration (beast)!
She cleaned out that icebox as clear as the day.
Why, that Queen even took their last hypospray!
Then she stuffed all the gear up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned the Queen, "I will slash up the APC!"
And the Queen grabbed the APC, and she started to shove,
When she heard a small sound like the OORAH of a dove.
She turned around fast, and she saw a small Marine!
Little Cindy-Lou OORAH, who was not more than thirteen.
The Queen had been caught by this tiny Marine daughter,
Who'd got out of cryo to join in on the slaughter
She stared at the Queen and said, "ayy lmao, why,”
"Why are you slashing our APC? WHY?"
But, you know, that old Queen was robust and so slick,
She thought up a move, and she thought it up quick!
"*roar," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"*hiss."
"*Growl."
"*roar."
And her emote fooled the child. Then she put her in crit,
And she struck off her head and then devoured all of it.
And when CindyLou OORAH went to dead all scratched up,
She went to the wall and she slashed the APC up!
Then the last thing she took was the phoron for their fire!
Then she went up the chimney, herself, the old liar.
On their walls she left nothing but shells and some wire.
And the one speck of gear That she left in the house,
Was a donk pocket that was even too small for a mouse.
Then she did the same thing To the other Marines' houses
Leaving donks Much too small For the other Marines' mouses!
It was quarter past dawn... All the Marines, still abed,
All the Marines, still SSD When she packed up her sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The guns! The ammo!
The backpacks! And the rockets! The snipers! The kerblammo! (writing is hard)
Three thousand feet north! Up the side of the caves,
She rode with her load to the deepest to melt it!
"PoohPoorah to the Marines!" she was Queenishly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Aphophis will receive an ahelp or two,
Then the Marines down in LV-624 will all cry BooHoorah!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Queen, "That I simply MUST hear!"
So she paused. And the Queen put her claw to her ear.
And she did hear a sound rising from the map way down low.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
She stared down at LV-624! The Queen popped her eyes!
Then she shook! What she saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Marine down in LV-624, the tall and the small,
Was OORAHing! Without any presents at all!
She HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Queen, with her Queen-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came with out webbing! It came without frags!"
"It came without landmines, smartguns or bags!"
And she puzzled three hours, till her puzzler was sore.
Then the Queen thought of something she hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," she thought, "doesn't come from donating."
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then? Well...in The Sulaco they say,
That the Queen's brood grew three sizes that day!
And the minute her brood didn't feel quite so tight,
She whizzed with her load through the bright morning light,
And she brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
And she, She Herself! Was carved up like a USCM Ration (beast)!

Spirit of Christmas Major Victory

[YungCuz]

Edge this is beautiful you need to write a Halloween story.

[Edgelord]

Edge this is beautiful you need to write a Halloween story.

Now there's a thought

[Martzin]

very heartfelt a true emotional roller coaster of a story ;(

[Jay Burns]

10/10 would eat queen again