>be me
>logging on during lowpop hours
>no staff online
>awwyiss.screech
>go about normal shitdickery functions as MP
>pissing off MPs
>slipping people with water
>being amazing nuisance
>become such a menace that entire MP force is hunting for me
>ship is barren wasteland
>fuck this shit
>go planetside
>end up getting cheesed to shit
>body is sent up on the pod with the rest of them
>plague doctor style drop pod packed full of corpses arrives
>doctors gonna doctor
>end up getting cloned but as I awaken from cryo an MP appears
>nope.AP
>bounce like an eraser, avoiding MP by going through lower ladder
>doc is true bro and opens doors for me until I hit main lower hallway
>running about with my cock out
>literally nothing but 3 other MPs covering my shame
>tacticool evasive maneuvers engaged
>get to cryo spawn room
>no ID so no prep
>no prep so no clothes
>figure I need something to mask myself and blend in with the other jarheads
>facepaint. apply directly to the face.
>figure I can bug MT's or RO for some clothes and shelter from the storm
>go to RO office
>see underwear
>treated underwear like gold to a jew
>strap up buttercup
>notice my favorite weapon, throwing knife, was hiding under underwear
>grab TK and ready the throw
>start heading out, aiming for the mouth
>along comes XO and skymarshall apophis
>XO yells about me
>feel awkward as hell, nothing but underwear, toolbox, facepaint, and TK
>sky marshall shows obvious confusion
>XO starts making a move, pulling his gun
>instantly put a knife in his mouth from almost 10 tiles away
>feelsgoodman.baldie
>run like mad hell back towards engineering
>become cornered with sky marshall popping rounds off after me
>misses all but one shot as I beat him like an unwanted stepchild with my blue box of tools
>MOTHER report: Skymarshall is dying outside engineering, suggest-
>MOTHER report: aaaand he's dead
>medic was going for succulent attachments
>mouth was probably drooling from the thought of amazing attachments
>instead turns a 180 and blasts blood covered underwear solid snek Freytia with 20 shots of M41A goodness
>underwear marine Saul Freytia KIA
>real human bean
>apophis calls in a deathsquad because sky marshall death means Sulaco is rogue ship
>finishthefight.117
>join deathsquid
>destroy entire marine force
>xenos board
>destroy entire boarding force
>only the strongest will survive
>mfw nuke was detonated successfully
>mfw I caused an entire round to die with nothing but a toolbox
>mfw I caused a DS and then joined said DS
